Sunday, April 29, 2012

Let's just go with it.

Well I assume the typical reaction would be discouragement.  But I am not discouraged.  Not even slightly.  The deal on the house fell through and I felt... well nothing to be honest.  We only just found out for sure but we have had the chance to tell one or two people who had asked us how our plans were coming along.  The reactions were shocking to me.  Almost every person I have told has been really angry.  Even without any details - their chests puff up and they are ready to defend us.  The loyalty is lovely but the reaction is quite unnecessary.  It was just a week - a week in time where we thought we sold the house.  Now we know we haven’t and arrangements need to be made.  Had we put this house up for sale a year ago (I know we just bought it a year ago, but just go with me here) I believe my feelings would be entirely different.  I used to be plagued by anxiety and worried over every little problem that popped up.  I would not have slept a wink for weeks due to tossing and turning and playing over a million and one scenarios in my mind.  That just is not so anymore.  I choose not to let anything get me down and it simply doesn’t.  I know, like I know, like I know that this trip and this new way of life is meant to be for us.  There is just no doubt.  So this sale didn’t go through - well another will.  And if no new buyer comes along?  Well then we rent it out, sell it on land contract, save up money and go for multiple shorter excursions... the point is, who cares?  If the point of this trip is to truly live a different life, one that is free from all of the bonds of ‘normal’ - then shouldn’t we begin that now?  Of course we should.
So what does that mean exactly? Everything is now like a puzzle and we have to work it all out.  We obviously have to go back to showing the house.  Not that our house is huge by any stretch of the imagination, but it is still a lot of work to set up and make show ready.  I do not exactly enjoy the whole thing, so we are determined to make it a bit easier on ourselves this round.  My version of easy and yours are likely to be quite different, but here goes our wacky idea anyhow:  We figure that the plan was to move into a small space all together once we closed on the house, so why not still do that? Annnnd, let's start right now.  We need to get used to the routine of all being around each other all of the time.  We will soon be living in a very small space with no personal boundaries.  I think it is a great idea to have some time to ease into it.  Troy agrees.  With this in mind, we cleaned both of the kid’s rooms and moved them out.  They each have the three items they are taking with them on our trip, an e-reader for books and their art supplies and are happily squatting in our bedroom with us.  And the dog.  Most of the house is now closed off.  We are solely using our room, the kitchen/dining room and one bathroom on a constant basis. The kids were really excited about moving out of the house and into a small space with us for the summer.  This was our solution to stop the disappointment they were expressing and feeling when they found out it was not going to go quite as planned.  Extreme?  Sure.  But we all think it’s kind of fun.  Like summer camp.  So far it’s working.  If it stops working, well we will either go back to the old way or come up with something new. 
The sale.  We have tossed this around a bit.  Not sure if we should cancel it or hold it as planned.  We decided that indeed we are going through with it.  The sale of this dwelling does not control our desire to rid ourselves of all our material possessions.  We do not want them.  So the sale is a go.  We have decided however that some of the larger items  (furniture) that aid in the showing of the home are needed to remain until there are new owners.  A furnished house has a much better chance of selling than an empty one.  We will attempt to sell off everything else though and sell those few items at a later date.  I cannot even express the thrill I feel arise within me when I contemplate this sale.  I want to watch it all go.  We at first thought it would be a great idea to hold an auction.  That would have been awesome.  We changed our minds however when we realized the auction companies take half your money.  Not awesome.  Not awesome at all.
The last detail I have had to tweak this week is what the heck to do with my car?  The plan was to sell it now.  Going down to one car not only saves us cash, but not having one would encourage the kids and I to walk to more places.  This train of thought arose when we were planning on moving into town.  Walking is quite easy there.  A mile to the beach at most.  This is of course no longer the situation.  We will now remain in Williamsburg - possibly for the entire summer.  After thinking long and hard, we once again decided to just go ahead and do it.  And so I did.  It’s up for sale.  And in honor of that bold move, the kids and I today decided to trek to the nearest beach access to see what our summer holds for us.  Five miles we walked.  Each way.  They were troopers.  Marnie exclaimed how amazing she was for completing the ten mile hike and of course she is now going to be ready for the planned four day hike in a portion of the Appalachian Trail this fall.  Word.

There is one change we have decided to implement now that has me a little apprehensive.  I believe it absolutely necessary though as it is something we are definitely going to have to deal with on the road - we are canceling our internet.  I know.  It is hard for me to think back to a time in which the internet did not exist.  I know I lived it, but how?  We must do this however.  I need to learn to be more creative about getting out of the house to work.  I need to make sure that with only one car, the kids and I get into town and actually do some things.  The promise of wifi may just be the driving force to make me do that.

And so, there it is.  Perhaps not all is going according to plan. That is okay.  We can change our plans.  We’re cool with that.  Perhaps there is something even better in store for us this summer that could not have possibly happened had the house sold this May.  I look forward to discovering what that may be.  For the time being, I am going to enjoy my little nightly slumber party, the anticipation of soon being without stuff and the sweet ache of well worked muscles.  Life is really, really good.

1 comment:

  1. The thing I keep thinking about is how much you are teaching your kids- through your reactions to your situation- the traits of flexibilitity and acceptance. I cannot imagine those kids will have even an inkling of "overly sheltered/not sure what to do in a crisis/not sure how to cope when things don't go their way" when all is said and done. KUDOS to both you and your husband!